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A Massive Reality Check!

Last week, it caught up with me. The scale did not lie. Yuck. I just do not even want to talk about it. My clothes do not look right, I don't feel right, and this is not a feeling I like.... at ALL. And yet, it is a great lesson: a lesson in the need to continually be vigilant. On how easy it is -- even years later -- to slip into behavioral patterns that are still ingrained deep in us, and to allow "oh, it's just that time of year" to become a reason to overdo, instead of a reason to keep watch. Stepping on the scales was the reality check I didn't want but truly needed. Even going to the gym for four workouts last week wasn't a license to eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. So what's a girl to do? Hit the gym tomorrow morning. That's what I'm doing anyway. And Wednesday morning. Thursday too. And Friday for good measure. Oh, and on the off-chance we leave work early Friday (doubtful but I can hope), I can squeeze in an extra workout or a wa

Better late than never, huh?

I can't believe I forgot to post anything last week. The brain is fried, between holiday events, regular ol' work, doctor's visits, workouts, and oh yeah, trying to squeeze in shopping. Ha. Ha. I have ONE gift purchased. That's it. ONE. And Christmas cards? Try MAYBE this week, if I'm lucky. And in the midst of all this, I have been following an 80-20 rule: eat healthily 80% of the time and stop obsessing about the 20% of the time when you mess it up royally. I've also kept up working out at least 3 times a week. So far? It must be working. I'm down two weeks in a row. It's not been huge amounts -- both times, less than a pound -- but it's downward progress. What I'm discovering is that I really enjoy my workout times. Do I relish the idea of waking up at quarter till dark and then leaving no later than oh-dark-thirty to go sweat? Not particularly. But once I get there, I'm loving it. I find that I feel much better -- and better about myself

Gobsmacked by reality

When I was a child, I remember adults would say about people, "Hmm, guess their sins finally found them out, huh?" (especially when someone got a measure of comeuppance). I can't remember if my mother or either of my grandmothers would use that phrase as a guilt trip when they were sure I was hiding something ... heck, probably all three. But as much as I hated hearing it, there is a kernel of truth in that saying .... and in this case, the things I didn't bother to track or care about this week showed up on the scale en masse . Nothing I could do but claim them as my own. I mean really, what other choice do I have? I made good decisions (workouts, and eating good meals, mostly), but what derailed me were those little things: not tracking, indulging in the more-than-occasional treat because "it's been a rough week".... Well, guess what? This past week was easy compared to the upcoming week's agenda. I could easily give up this week: I have more time-

I love it when a plan comes together!

My assignment this week was to plan for at least four days of workout from Monday through tomorrow. SUCCESS!!! I worked out Monday morning (gym - interval circuit training), and on Wednesday morning (same thing). For Thursday, knowing I'd be at home for the holiday, my thought was to walk after lunch .... but then we got the idea to take Maddox to the dog park. So we did, but unfortunately, we were the only people (and mutt) there. So after he piddled around (literally) for a while, we took him to a nearby town that has a nice square. He loved the walk, as did I ... but I felt I still needed a little more. So after dinner, I hit the exercise bike for about 15 minutes, just to add to it. For Friday, I was also off work. I had planned to go back toward the area where I work and do a couple of things, and stop off by working out at the gym. But then I heard a note on the morning news that the downtown seasonal ice rink was opening on Friday .... and a brilliant idea hit me! You can re

Surviving the Whirlwind

Hello my friends -- yes, it has been too long since I posted. It has been a whirlwind couple of weeks with new initiatives at work, a quick trip to see my friends on the coast, a doctor's visit (planned), and a car in the shop (definitely unplanned). Last week, I had a great loss. This week, not quite all of it came back. That part was not fun. And I can pretty much own it all. Between the travel, the meetings, the new work plans, and a couple of small details, my meals ended up being more guesswork than real tracking. I worked out but not quite the same plan I had wanted for my week. Sometimes you just have to roll with these the best way you can, and hope for the best. Several of my pals and I have discussed this malaise we seem to find ourselves in on our weight-loss (or maintenance) journeys. So we have a plan for this week, based on our problem areas: one who has a weigh-in near the weekend is going to track her entire day, openly and without reservation, to keep herself accou

Time to grow up

As most of you know, I have had some struggles lately. It's not just my health, but it's my mindset. I've allowed a multitude of things to become handy excuses for not paying better attention. First was the play -- "oh, I don't have time to do (this), so I'll do (that) instead." Then it was something else, and something else, and the idea of being able to indulge a little in certain things. I even fell back into the trap sometimes after dinner of thinking, "I've blown it for today, I'll start fresh tomorrow, but in the meantime....." and just not caring. I have come too far not to care. I don't like the direction things are moving. I don't like feeling this yucky about myself and my life and my weight and my (lack of) progress -- actually, a regress. So what to do? I'm taking the advice that a very wise woman gave me: if you don't like your life, change it. And I'm also taking up the Serenity Prayer to apply to this si

In a slightly reflective mood...

Just a few minutes ago, I was looking at pictures from my journey. Even as far as I have come, it never really ends. I think of the scene in Parenthood (the movie) where Jason Robards looks at Steve Martin and says, "There is no finish line, there is no end zone, there is no touchdown celebration." Sure there are little celebrations all along the way, and there's nothing wrong with setting a goal and reaching it.... in fact, we need to do that! But once we are there, all too often, we think, "Wahoo! We're done." And we aren't. But it's okay. It's a great reminder that we're forever a work in progress, that nothing is ever really complete in our transformation, that there's always opportunity for improvement and for continuing success. I have a birthday this week. It's a number that doesn't scare me at all.... in fact, I've always rather liked this number, not sure why, but I like it. It sounds good, something about it feels r

There Is No Try, Only Do.

A few times throughout the last 5-1/2 years of weight loss, weight maintenance, etc. I have had a few fluke weeks -- sometimes an unexpected loss that would hold, and sometimes a weight spike that would come right back to normal the next week. Part of me wants to think that was my week last week .... just one of those fluke things. There was no way I should have gained 4 pounds across a week, and especially given everything that happened (medically) in that week. But I also knew that there were moments I did not do well, and that was all on me. So I took my friend Angie's advice (Angie from "Successful Together"; link at right), and treated it like a Week 1. A total do-over, a recommitment moment, complete with 40 verses of "Just As I Am".... (ha!) The result? 3.2 pounds back down! *** Now for a quick update on the medical stuff: I met with my PCP, and while she had my lab results, she was way more concerned about the fainting episode. While the lab results may

The end is here.....

Not to worry, I'm not breaking out into a 10-min Oedipal song by The Lizard King himself....... This week, I had a medical incident happen. I was at a support group meeting when I passed out cold. The docs at the ER cannot find a reason why I should have fainted. I've been trying to be more proactive about my health, and I'll get the results from some in-depth tests this coming week -- and after the incident, I'll be perhaps having more. As you all have seen, I haven't exactly been riding the good train for self-care this summer, at least as far as weight management has been concerned. I've piddled around and not really paid attention to what I was doing, or really cared. I really do believe that nothing merely happens by accident; there is reason and order and purpose to everything in life. If nothing else, this incident serves as a wake-up call. It's time to stop snoozing and start paying attention. So the end of Summer Joyride 2011 is here. It is past

Leaves

Here we are in October, my favorite month of the year. When I was a child, it was my favorite because it was my birthday month, and I believed that all sorts of good magic was afoot in my birthday month. Nothing was bad then. The leaves fell in the yard, and if everything was good, there would be enough of a pile by my birthday to jump into. The unabashed joy of childhood ... well, once we get into the "real" world, we know where that goes, right? It doesn't have to. There is still good magic afoot. Right now, I'm on a small break from work, just a few days but enough to try to unwind, to recharge my batteries (beyond drained), and just enjoy what is. What does all this have to do with a health/wellness/weight-loss-centered blog? Everything. Because as the leaves fall in my backyard (or at least should, hopefully, soon), it is time for me to reassess, to recharge, to take stock of where I am and where I want to go. The summer was not a good one for me. I lost focus, I

Turning the corner....

Last weekend, I had my weekly weigh-in and WAHOO, it was down another 3.2 pounds! Holy cow - that's 5.4 pounds in two weeks, and 3 weeks since I stopped taking Premphase. Guess they weren't kidding about that "weight gain" side effect, were they? Okay, that, and getting back in the swing of working out again, and eating healthily again -- it all made the weigh-in much better. If you haven't heard yet, Dr. Oz has a program out called "Transformation Nation" -- he is partnering with Weight Watchers to provide weigh-ins for participants, but it goes beyond just weight loss and working out. It involves telling others about the site, getting in for a physical, etc. It's a great reminder that good health isn't just weight loss and exercise but knowing your family history and being proactive about your own health. So visit Dr. Oz's website and sign up today to change your health and your life! I took a trip this weekend to Sky Top Orchard (Flat Rock

Still around

I apologize for being so late in posting. Last week was absolutely insane-o with rehearsals, opening weekends, and a few other things. Short of it, I'm up -- more than I would like -- but I am making strides. I'm back to working out more often (at least so far this week), and I'm making better choices this week than I have in teh last few weeks. Best of all, I have a new primary care physician! The first thing she has done is take me off the Premphase. She said, "I'm not a big fan of it..." and I replied, "Neither am I." So two weeks from now, I will have some extensive labwork to determine various endocrine functions, including thyroid, reproductive, and insulin. Why this? I have two family members (aunt, uncle) who are diabetic, and I know that all systems work together. Nothing operates without affecting other systems. So better to know than not know. As I've said in a few other posts, I've come too far where ignorance is no longer bliss;

Sorry to Jerry Garcia...

But I'm changing one of your lyrics..... Living on sugar, Vitamin B and caffeine, All her friends can say is...... STOP & REST, GIRL! Yes, it has been quite a last couple of weeks - hence, a missed post last week! The downward trend continued last week but I'm awfully afraid this week will be a reversal of fortune. But I have been working out this week -- and *gasp* doing so first thing in the morning. Yup, for real! I've been getting to the gym around 6:00 AM, working out and getting ready and even getting to work early. And you know what I'm finding? I'm not going to bed any earlier. I've been backsliding on my "no caffeine after 3:00" .... mostly because I don't relish the idea of falling asleep behind the wheel going from work to rehearsal. But you know, it is what it is. All told, my goal for the next two weeks is to lose what I can, as I can. Work out whenever I can, and to just simply not sweat it. I find that when I stress ove

Honoring What Is Happening

This has been a rather eventful week for me -- tons of rehearsal time and a very special event at WW. We did an "Inspiration" event featuring several of us who'd lost over 100 pounds each. We had 135 people at the event -- UNBELIEVABLE!!! I got such a rush of energy from everyone, and I am in pure awe of everyone and their stories. We each had an event, a reason, a moment where we let go and realized that we needed some help....... and shared our stories, our successes, our moments of weakness. It was awesome!! I love special events like this, and I am always happy to even be a small part of them. With the summer heat still in full swing, I've still got some of the retention issues going on... UGH. So I'm drinking my waters, trying hard not to overindulge in caffeine, watching my sodium wherever possible..... and still it didn't seem like enough. Last night was my scheduled massage, and I had a different massage therapist from usual. I was all knotted up, as

A measure of success

This was an interesting week, after all the "feedback" I got last week. And it paid off this morning when I stepped on the scale and there was a loss. It wasn't a huge loss, but that's okay, it's moving in the right direction! Did I do everything that I wanted to do, or had hoped to achieve? No. For the last three weeks or so, I have been really battling the late-night munchies. I mean, serious zombie-like forays, all after 10:00 PM. WHY? I don't know. If I knew, then I could figure out what I need to do to make it better. In other news, my doctor is pleased so far with the results of my new medicine. So at least for the next few months, I'll be taking this daily medicine. While he may be happy, I admit that I am less thrilled. I prefer to take medicine only as needed, and it may be just a pride thing: "Nothing's wrong with me, just a speed bump." A maintenance med says (to me, anyway): "I have something ongoing, it's not just a

Reviews: One Product, One Recipe

Product Review: Fiber One brownies You've seen the commercial by now: the bouncer & velvet rope in the grocery store: "They were once off-limits, but now...." and the next thing you see is a bunch of already-skinny women dancing around and eating brownies. So a couple of weeks ago, I bought a box of the chocolate peanut butter variety. One, they were on sale, and two, I was hungry, and plan-wise, they worked for me. After I checked out my cart and got my stuff in the car, I checked out one of the brownies....... And my verdict? Meh. They are not velvet-rope-worthy, but if you needed something quick and sugary then have at it. However..... let me tell you how to not make them "meh" but something leaning more toward "wow": unwrap and heat very briefly in the microwave (I suggest no more than 15 seconds for a 1000+ watt microwave). Add 1/2 c of your favorite vanilla ice cream (I used Mayfield Creamier Church Vanilla Bean, because that was what I had

Seeing Daylight

I did it. Stepped up on the scale this morning and took my medicine. It wasn't as bad as it was yesterday morning. In fact, it was down 4 pounds from there..... still up four from last week (I think; I've actually lost track). So that tells me (a) there has got to be some water/fluid retention involved .... especially after having an MLD session yesterday and (b) I'm starting to see daylight. My coworker/meeting leader did not want to write down the number on my employee weight slip. I told her to please do so anyway. The number doesn't lie. There was no excuse. No matter how bad the water retention was, I had still slipped. And now I am picking myself up, dusting myself off, and starting all over again. I know just what to do, and I know full well that it will take a couple of weeks to get back to normal. Heck, I want to get back to where I was before the recent "normal." And I can do it. I have faith. I have faith that if I follow the plan as I should, I wil

BOOM

That BOOM you heard around 6:00 AM Eastern time was me stepping on the scale this morning. Holy Mary, Mother of God. Another week of the crazies. We had a death in our family (my uncle, dad's brother-in-law). If you have never seen a Southern funeral food spread, then you just have no idea. Meat-n-cheese trays, potato salads and coleslaws, fried chicken, every casserole with cream-of-something soup in it, wonderfully lovingly homemade desserts. Seriously, you just cannot believe it. Churches, neighbors, other family members: they all come to call, they come to grieve with you and they come bearing food. And usually there's nothing there that can be remotely friendly. Add to the mix a very unexpected car repair. There went workouts, because right now, my only days are Wednesday nights. Sorry, no one could come get me until late, and working out at 8:30 PM when you have to wake at 5:00 AM .... no. It doesn't work that way. And when you have no car, you are at everyone else

The Spoon and the Damage Done

(with all apologies to Neil Young) Full disclosure: This was a week. I'd like to say I did this purposely, as an experiment, but that would be a total fabrication. I'd like to say, "I purposely had a rotten week as an example of what not to do -- of do as I say, not as I do." And I'd like to say, "I'm on HRT, and all the chemical changes are just making me into a sugar-seeking monster." While this is what happened, it surely was not done on purpose, and I can't blame Premphase for it either. It's on me, all me. Amazingly enough, only by the pure grace of God (and a good workout last night) did it not affect the scale. And I can't even do a happy dance for that, because I was fully expecting way worse, and deserved whatever I got. Still, I don't consider myself fallen from grace or anything like that. I am not going to beat myself up over this. Throughout this journey, one thing I have learned - and am still learning - is that self-fl

Thomas Wolfe Was Right....

This week, I attended (and acted as a breakout session leader) for a wellness symposium. During the main portion of the presentation, I heard a repeat of all the figures that I have known about wellness, the state of our health, etc., some of which I mentioned in last week's post. And somehow, it still manages to shock me. It is unbelievable at how much healthcare is costing our nation, in so many ways. I cannot fathom how one can hear those figures and do nothing. The buzzphrase of my life in my 40s has been "educate and advocate" .... that seems to crop up over and over. And so it is still. This was something that I hope I passed on to the people in my group. We have to educate ourselves, and to educate each other. And once we have that knowledge then we must advocate for those who have no voice, or whose voice is unheard and unheeded. Thomas Wolfe said you can't go home again, and he's right. Once you have knowledge, you cannot go back to ignorance. You cannot

I Don't Get It....

Wellness is a big push at most companies and that's no exception for our parent company. Bottom line is, the bottom line is being eroded by healthcare costs as a national trend. Ask any company in any field of any size. For the last two years, as part of the benefits package, our parent company has rolled out wellness initiatives including online personal health assessments (PHA's), biometric screenings, and offered a discount on employee premiums, just for taking part in those measures. There's even a nifty voluntary program where they will send you information if your screening/PHA shows an area of concern -- just information for you to discuss with your doctor and maybe a call from a wellness nurse or other employee to see if you received it, have questions, etc. While my division does not take part in the corporate initiative (long story and not really germane) we have done a few things on our own. One wellness program in which we took part was the American Heart Associ

Visualize and Attack

Many years ago, a very wise woman wrote, "If you don't like your life, change it." It took a few years after reading her book to put that advice to my life, but I finally did in a couple of areas. I continue to make changes as needed to make my life even better. As I mentioned last week, the stresses of my life are playing havoc with me. So this week, I did exactly as I'd planned to do to divest myself of some of those stresses. The massage was great -- so good, in fact, that I bought a membership in their wellness program, entitling me to a free massage each month. My next one is in two weeks and I cannot wait. I'd love to have a weekly one, but right now, I can't be that indulgent. After next June when Pearl is paid for.... maybe! But once a month is easy enough. So that's a plus! I think what I appreciated most was just finally being able to let go for a little while and be present in that moment, to know that all I had to do was be there and allow som

Moving forward and looking back...

I have to laugh, smile, and give a little thanks. Okay, a lot of thanks. After I published my last post, a dear friend in the Pacific Northwest e-mailed me with a laundry list of information on how sleep debt can wreak havoc on the body. She's a naturopathic doctor, and believe me, I listened. I started doing some reading on my own, and she's spot on. A lot of medical information out there and research on sleep debt, sleep deprivation and how it impacts everything in your system. Add a billion pounds from the stress of the weight of the world on one's shoulder and ...... well, you'll see me. So I have taken definite action. I have an appointment this coming Tuesday for a massage. Now I've had massage therapy before with chiropractic, and I've had a few chair massages, but it's not the same as an hour on a table. I am SO looking forward to this. I remember reading a passage in Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood where Vivi is on the massage table with a m

In Need of An Adjustment

Every two weeks, I go to a chiropractor for an adjustment. I first used chiropractic care about 15 years ago when I had a lower back issue. I went every week for about 18 months, mostly for maintenance once the issue was cleared up. I had the same problem recur a few years afterwards during a time of great stress in my life, and so back to chiropractic care I went. I found it amazing that the issue diminished as soon as my major stressor went away.... hmm. Imagine that. This time I go for normal maintenance.... and because my shoulders and upper back are in a constant state of tension. How much is due to the normal stresses of life and how much is due to some other things.... I don't know. I'm sure that my back and shoulders are not helped by the massive amounts of excess skin that I carry. I'm sure that it also doesn't help to have gravity affect my upper front so that I tend to "pitch forward." But a lot of it is due to just plain old stress. Imagine my surp

What's Really Eating Us?

This week, our topic was all about recognizing our hunger signals..... how to listen to our body, and as our leader said, "honor our hunger." We have to recognize that it is there, feed it well without overfeeding, and move on. Wow.... there are so many topics there, I truly hardly know where to start. One of the things I kept thinking about is that we need to honor our physical hunger, and yet acknowledge our other hungers.... which when unsatisfied can lead us to overeat. We can't satisfy the emotional or spiritual hunger within us, so we stuff it down with food we don't need. Many years ago, I bought a great devotional guide called Food for the Hungry Heart by Cynthia Rowland McClure, with daily thoughts, prayers, etc. At the time, I was climbing toward my heaviest weight, knowing that a lot of what she said was true -- but denying that it really applied to me. Right? I was happy. I had a full life. But I am amazed at just how much better my life is since I start

Slow Down, You Move Too Fast....

Things have been interesting in my world for these past few days. But a couple of really nice things have happened along the way too. I got in my workouts this week (YAY ME!) including the new "power routine" ... I didn't get in the follow-up cardio, but I did get in the lifting! I was pleasantly amazed that it's manageable. It's not easy, mind you, but definitely manageable. The other nice thing is that my garden has been wonderfully watered by nature this week. The storms have left some damage in their wake ... such as not having any power at work on Thursday and running off a generator, but the natural watering has been a nice side benefit! So last night, after the WW meeting, I was sitting at Jason's Deli. I could turn this space into an ad for them, but I'll refrain. I was chowing down on a beautiful rainbow salad and thinking, "How often do we really think about the food we're eating? Do we really take the time to discover and appreciate the

Keeping track....

This week's topic was all about tracking .... and to help keep us on track, those of us who have been working Saturday mornings have been passing around a tracker among ourselves, to help us be more accountable. Throughout my 5 years of being a WW member, tracking has never been a problem or issue. I would say that 95% of the time, I am a pretty faithful tracker. Even when I was following Simply Filling, I tracked to keep up with my weekly allowance, and to help me see where I needed to tweak things. During my transition to PointsPlus, tracking was utterly essential .... For the first four years, I tracked in my journals faithfully. It has only been within the last year or so that e-Tools has become my preferred method of tracking. I'm on a computer all day, I figure I might as well take 2-3 minutes at lunch time to track what I eat (I track breakfast at home, snack & lunch then, afternoon snack & dinner at home, as well as any evening treats). Anyway, this week was my

How is my garden growing?

Actually, very well! I transplanted all the tomato plants, the orange bell pepper plant, the zucchini, and the cucumber plants to my raised bed. I am using Miracle-Gro Organic Choice Garden Soil for the raised bed; I had been using the same thing, but the "container soil" for the pots. The next things to be transplanted -- probably tomorrow night -- will be the salad greens, the broccoli, and the eggplant seedlings that survived. The herbs are doing well, as are the berry plants (both strawberry & blueberry). I would like to get another blueberry bush.... maybe this weekend! I will take pictures of everything tomorrow night to show off!

Guest Post: Grab and Go Breakfasts!

Good Morning! My name is Angie and I blog over at Successful Together . I am SO excited to be here with you today!! Annette is a super lady, whom I had the pleasure of meeting through our Saturday morning WW meeting in Seneca. When she asked me to do a guest post featuring Grab and Go Breakfasts, I was THRILLED! There are a few different levels of Grab and Go breakfasts. You can start with the true grab and go's that require little to no prep, Fresh Fruits. If nothing else, these can hold you over til you can get somewhere to have a more staying breakfast. Most of the recipes and items I will feature below should be ready in under 3 minutes, or can be prepped ahead to make it even easier to get in a good meal to get your day started on the right foot (or left, if thats the direction you so choose!) PS Pardon the wonky-ness of some of the text not matching. Just roll with it! Breakfast Smoothies Smoothies are super refreshing and easy to make. Most can be prepped ahead so a