Saturday, July 30, 2011

The Spoon and the Damage Done

(with all apologies to Neil Young)

Full disclosure: This was a week. I'd like to say I did this purposely, as an experiment, but that would be a total fabrication. I'd like to say, "I purposely had a rotten week as an example of what not to do -- of do as I say, not as I do." And I'd like to say, "I'm on HRT, and all the chemical changes are just making me into a sugar-seeking monster." While this is what happened, it surely was not done on purpose, and I can't blame Premphase for it either. It's on me, all me. Amazingly enough, only by the pure grace of God (and a good workout last night) did it not affect the scale. And I can't even do a happy dance for that, because I was fully expecting way worse, and deserved whatever I got.

Still, I don't consider myself fallen from grace or anything like that. I am not going to beat myself up over this. Throughout this journey, one thing I have learned - and am still learning - is that self-flagellation does no good. I made bad choices, but I am not a bad person. I messed up, but I am not messed-up. Big difference there. Too often, there's so much of an all-or-nothing mentality, especially with weight-loss and weight-maintenance. "Oh dear, I had one donut and I gained 3 pounds. Well, might as well go eat the other 11 KK's, I blew it." Oh come on, we've all said it or thought it. "Oh crap, I ate half the bag of chips? Damn, might as well eat the rest." And we beat ourselves up when it shows up on the scale, or we nearly kill ourselves with exercise to somehow redeem ourselves. Literally, there is a whole sermon I could go on from here, but I'm trying not to do that.

Okay, so what have I learned this week:

1. Put down the simple carbs: I gotta ease up on the carbs in general. But I especially need to steer clear of the simple, refined carbs. Prime example: I bought a reduced-fat ice cream that I thought would be tasty and yet (relatively) better for me. Given my indulging in that this week, full-fat chocolate or vanilla would have been smarter. Even as I ate it, I knew it was crud marketed as "better" and I kept shoveling it in. Not again. If I'm gonna have ice cream, I'm sticking to Breyer's Fat Free, and probably most often the vanilla. At least I can put some fresh fruit over it or even some Walden-Farms no-calorie chocolate syrup. Or one of the Torani or DaVinci coffee syrups too. Mmm, the possibilities.

2. Pick up the lean protein: No question. The nights I had protein in late afternoon or evening, the better I did. And that being said, either lean meats or an omelet. Much as I love edamame, it seems to suit me better as a snack than as the primary protein for dinner. Yeah. Ya think?

3. Clean it up: Basically, I need to get back to cleaner eating. I tried it last summer when I was really struggling and it helped tremendously. And I'm finding that caffeine and sodium are becoming real issues for me, especially the sodium in this hot weather. I tend to retain more in the summer heat, one of the little lovely parting gifts of lymphedema (and tell her what else she's won, Don Pardo!). The caffeine is just something that I'm finding I don't need nearly as much as I thought. I've cut out caffeinated drinks as much as possible after 3:00 PM, avoiding the caffeinated sodas and even trying to stay clear of tea unless it's clearly labeled "caffeine free." BTW, quick product endorsement: Tazo Zero Calorie Unsweetened bottled teas - the "Refresh" is a mint one that is soooooo good!

4. HUP-2-3-4: Making time for daily exercise. I love my workouts (yes, I actually uttered this phrase). However, apparently 3 days a week, even busting it for an hour at a time, isn't enough. So even with the crazy life I have for the next 6 weeks, I'm just gonna have to bite the bullet and do it. I am going to have to wake up even earlier and go do cardio, and save my whole-body workouts for non-rehearsal days. Now the trick will be to find a gym on the way to work, and buy a one-month pass just so I can pack a bag, shower and change there and drive on (my gym, unfortunately, doesn't offer shower space). And apparently, keep a healthy breakfast at the office too.

It's all in the planning. Yeah, planning. There's another whole sermon there. Me, who advocates it and usually lives by it, having to remind myself of the value of a good plan. But mainly, I've got to quit "Flirting with Disaster," "Living on the Edge" and "Cruisin"...... and REALLY refocus on healthier living.

No comments: