Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Do you believe?

Do you believe you can do whatever you intend?
Do you believe that everything you need to live a healthier life is at your fingertips, just waiting for you to tap into its unlimited resources?
Do you believe that you are more than capable?

Do you have enough?
Enough self-love to know when to say when, when to say no, when to say yes, when to say go?
Enough self-confidence to hold your head high?
Enough willingness to get back up for the 9th time when you've fallen down 8?

Do you know?
Do you know that you have it within you?
Do you know how to reach down for more?
Do you know when to make a turnaround if you find yourself veering off track?

Can you decide?
Can you decide that you're worth the small sacrifices?
Can you resolve not to listen to the people who stand in your way..... including yourself?
Can you commit to being all you can be?

Most of all, do you know how awesome you are?
Do you feel proud of all you've accomplished?
Are you ready to live the new you?
Do you believe?

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Hearing yourself think....

"Don't confront me with my failings / I have not forgotten them...." -- Jackson Browne, "These Days"

Okay, the specifics: my great weigh-in on 1/1 was offset by two gains over the last two weeks. One was entirely understandable because my 1/1 weight was a fluke -- I'd been sick the night before, and weighed in very early instead of my usual late afternoon. So I wasn't expecting miracles, but I was floored by my gain this week. Not enough to send me into a tailspin and throwing my hands up and quitting. One, I don't quit, at least not this! and Two, why?

I got some insight into that today at work..... I made a mistake on something, and while it was completely understandable, I sat there and thought to myself, "How could I have been so dumb? Why didn't I think to make sure I had done X before doing Y? AAARGH!! Oh, I hate making mistakes! I hate not being able to do things perfectly!"

Did you hear that? I just told myself in two sentences that I hated being human. Self-loathing of a massive degree. Yes, I can't stand to make mistakes, especially when they do affect other people. It's one thing to (for example) mess up a nail polish job on myself. It's quite another to mess it up on someone else. I can easily pooh-pooh when I mess up my own paint job, but I absolutely cannot stand messing up something for someone else. And worse, I hate when I am (as the lyric said) confronted with my failings --- I assure you, I am all too aware of them. I'm all too aware that they bind me in a way that my successes do not. It's odd, but true.

But it happens. To every last one of us. A million times in the past and a million times to come. We will make mistakes. It is part and parcel of human nature. To expect to do everything perfectly says -- in effect -- "I hate who I have been created to be. I hate that I'm not something better than who I will always be."

Accidents will happen...... so get over it.
Setbacks will happen ...... move beyond them.
Perfection is an ideal........... not a reality. At least not in this life.

Instead, what if we all embraced ourselves and our humanity fully? What if we forgave ourselves with the same compassion that we show when we forgive our best friends and our family members? What if we simply hugged our inner soul and said, "You're a good person. You will always make mistakes, so learn to cope with it."

I am doing my best to be just as forgiving with my weight loss battle. My obesity was 26 years in the making. Taking a short 3 years to lose the weight was slow, but sometimes I wonder if it was still too fast. I'm learning to forgive myself for not enjoying the ride as much as I should have. I'm learning to forgive myself for my failings, and trying to remember that I am only human.

So let's be good to ourselves -- as much as possible, as often as possible, and as compassionately as possible.

Tuesday, January 01, 2013

How will you be healthier in 2013?

What is your quest? What do you plan to do? Where do you want to be on 1/1/2014? How will you get there; what is your plan? Are you in it to win it?

At this time last year, I didn't know. I was floundering from a fall health scare (if only I knew!) and more concerned with stuffing my anxiety with whatever I could find.... and the sweeter or crunchier (or both), the better. On January 1, I had no idea that within the next year I'd face an even bigger health scare, new medication with no idea of how it might affect me or for how long it would take for everything to settle out........ add to it the stress of some changes at work, and me just not caring enough, and it was a recipe for disaster.

By the beginning of May, I had spiraled into a big gain.... okay, definitely nowhere near all I had lost (no way could I do that in 6 months!) but enough for me to say, "It's time to stop!" It still took a few more weeks for me to get things back in gear but as summer wound down, I got back on board, and I'm proud to say that as of this morning's weigh in, I've lost 17 pounds of what I put on. Not too much more to go now!! (Although I will say that having a cold this week made me only want soup.... an awful lot ... but I had that canned soup is SO high in sodium. Really? Can't they do better?!)

So to answer my own questions:
1) My quest is to be back at goal weight and to do it in a healthy manner.
2) I plan to do this through healthy eating -- both in the foods I choose and the portions I consume -- and through regular activity.
3) I want to be back at my goal weight and with lab numbers that make my doctor happy!
4) I will get there through dedication -- the same way I lost it the first time! At the same time, I will treat myself with kindness and gentleness, remembering that I am human and will not do everything perfectly.
5) OF COURSE!!!!

Some of my plans for meeting this challenge include tracking (it works, like it or not), and doing some more of what I enjoyed about this summer forward -- more biking (and another trip this spring to the Creeper Trail), more 5K's (I'd like to do one a month ... oh, last night's won't count for January, will it? HA!!) .... but MOST importantly: just getting up from my desk more. My job entails lots of computer and desk work -- but I need to make myself get up once an hour and just MOVE for 5 minutes each hour.

And the one item I really need to pursue -- more sleep. I am so bad about this. I'm usually the first one up each morning and the last to go to sleep (most of the time, anyway). I really need to retrain myself to go to bed a little earlier and get up at the time I usually do. 11:15 PM to 4:45 AM doesn't cut it (even though my sleep quality is apparently pretty good, because I don't hear a thing until the alarm goes off).

Here's wishing you the best and healthiest 2013 ever -- OWN THIS YEAR!!!