Saturday, August 20, 2011

Honoring What Is Happening

This has been a rather eventful week for me -- tons of rehearsal time and a very special event at WW. We did an "Inspiration" event featuring several of us who'd lost over 100 pounds each. We had 135 people at the event -- UNBELIEVABLE!!! I got such a rush of energy from everyone, and I am in pure awe of everyone and their stories. We each had an event, a reason, a moment where we let go and realized that we needed some help....... and shared our stories, our successes, our moments of weakness. It was awesome!! I love special events like this, and I am always happy to even be a small part of them.

With the summer heat still in full swing, I've still got some of the retention issues going on... UGH. So I'm drinking my waters, trying hard not to overindulge in caffeine, watching my sodium wherever possible..... and still it didn't seem like enough. Last night was my scheduled massage, and I had a different massage therapist from usual. I was all knotted up, as poofy as the Stay-Puft man, and sorely in need (no pun intended) to have all the kinks and twists just taken out of me.

As I was being worked on in the silence, with just the soft music and lights to provide a touchstone, I felt a little embarrassed that the poor therapist had to work so hard on the problem areas. I mean, the poor fella was practically sweating trying to apply trigger point pressure on my upper back..... and the oddest thought occurred to me:

Honor what is happening in your body.

Do what? Say that again? I didn't catch it.

Honor what is happening in your body.

My body is telling me to stress less, rest more. My body is telling me it's okay to put my feet up, literally, for my health. My body is telling me that it's okay that I'm taking this medication if it is correcting an anomaly. My body is telling me that I need to let go ..... that as long as I don't let go of certain things, it cannot get rid of all that junk in me that clutters up the real me.

Honor what is happening in your body.

I am. I am going to stop trying to fight and start learning to accept. I am going to learn that I can control my food choices, my exercise routines, etc. but I cannot control all the other stuff. All I can control is how I react to what comes my way.

Strange new thoughts for a strange new world.

And how did it work for me? Down 1.2 this week. There just might be something to this after all!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

A measure of success

This was an interesting week, after all the "feedback" I got last week. And it paid off this morning when I stepped on the scale and there was a loss. It wasn't a huge loss, but that's okay, it's moving in the right direction!

Did I do everything that I wanted to do, or had hoped to achieve? No. For the last three weeks or so, I have been really battling the late-night munchies. I mean, serious zombie-like forays, all after 10:00 PM. WHY? I don't know. If I knew, then I could figure out what I need to do to make it better.

In other news, my doctor is pleased so far with the results of my new medicine. So at least for the next few months, I'll be taking this daily medicine. While he may be happy, I admit that I am less thrilled. I prefer to take medicine only as needed, and it may be just a pride thing: "Nothing's wrong with me, just a speed bump." A maintenance med says (to me, anyway): "I have something ongoing, it's not just a speed bump." I know, it's crazy to think that way. But this is reality for me, at least for a while. So now I have to adjust to accommodate this new paradigm.

As Yoda would say, "Do or do not. There is no try." And so I must do. "Do not" is not an alternative for me.

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Reviews: One Product, One Recipe

Product Review: Fiber One brownies

You've seen the commercial by now: the bouncer & velvet rope in the grocery store: "They were once off-limits, but now...." and the next thing you see is a bunch of already-skinny women dancing around and eating brownies.

So a couple of weeks ago, I bought a box of the chocolate peanut butter variety. One, they were on sale, and two, I was hungry, and plan-wise, they worked for me. After I checked out my cart and got my stuff in the car, I checked out one of the brownies....... And my verdict? Meh. They are not velvet-rope-worthy, but if you needed something quick and sugary then have at it.

However..... let me tell you how to not make them "meh" but something leaning more toward "wow": unwrap and heat very briefly in the microwave (I suggest no more than 15 seconds for a 1000+ watt microwave). Add 1/2 c of your favorite vanilla ice cream (I used Mayfield Creamier Church Vanilla Bean, because that was what I had in the freezer). Joy and happiness..... and MUCH tastier! With the reduced fat ice cream, it's 5 PPV (depending on your ice-cream). For Breyer's Fat-Free vanilla, it would knock it down to 4 PPV (2 for the brownie, 2 for the ice cream).

Recipe Review: Hungry Girl's Crab Rangoonies

I love the HG daily newsletter. And I love quite a few of the recipes in there. I have 2 or 3 of the HG books (I haven't gotten Hungry Girl's 300 Under 300 because I'm already overloaded with recipes and cookbooks right now). The other day, the newsletter was all in praise of wonton wrappers, and the wonderful things you can do with them....... As luck had it, I had just bought some the week before, intending to make chips with them, but this was a better idea! So I perused her list and came across Crab Rangoonies.

Back in the day, I would eat an entire order of crab rangoons from the Chinese place, along with whatever else I had ordered. My stomach, apparently, knew no bounds, and I truly shudder to think how much fat, sugar, and sodium I had consumed in that meal. While I still eat Chinese on very rare occasions (mostly due to the sodium factor), my mouth and stomach haven't seen crab rangoons in a very long time. :( Shame too because I love their ooey-gooeyness. Until.......

I finally got around to making them tonight for dinner. And may I say: they are all that, even without a bag o' chips. The recipe is fairly easy to make, though the preparation does take some time. But very, very yummy. I should have taken pictures, but I didn't think about it....

MMMM. Enjoy!

Saturday, August 06, 2011

Seeing Daylight

I did it. Stepped up on the scale this morning and took my medicine. It wasn't as bad as it was yesterday morning. In fact, it was down 4 pounds from there..... still up four from last week (I think; I've actually lost track). So that tells me (a) there has got to be some water/fluid retention involved .... especially after having an MLD session yesterday and (b) I'm starting to see daylight.

My coworker/meeting leader did not want to write down the number on my employee weight slip. I told her to please do so anyway. The number doesn't lie. There was no excuse. No matter how bad the water retention was, I had still slipped.

And now I am picking myself up, dusting myself off, and starting all over again.

I know just what to do, and I know full well that it will take a couple of weeks to get back to normal. Heck, I want to get back to where I was before the recent "normal." And I can do it.

I have faith. I have faith that if I follow the plan as I should, I will succeed. I have faith in my ability to make good choices. I have faith in my capabilities to plan, to work hard, to succeed. I have faith that success breeds more success. That as I think, so I am.

I know I can succeed, and I know that a gentle discipline is necessary. I also know just how far I've come -- and while I cannot rest on my laurels, I can take great pride in all that I have done in 5 years.

And I know I am blessed to finally see daylight.

Friday, August 05, 2011


That BOOM you heard around 6:00 AM Eastern time was me stepping on the scale this morning. Holy Mary, Mother of God.

Another week of the crazies. We had a death in our family (my uncle, dad's brother-in-law). If you have never seen a Southern funeral food spread, then you just have no idea. Meat-n-cheese trays, potato salads and coleslaws, fried chicken, every casserole with cream-of-something soup in it, wonderfully lovingly homemade desserts. Seriously, you just cannot believe it. Churches, neighbors, other family members: they all come to call, they come to grieve with you and they come bearing food. And usually there's nothing there that can be remotely friendly.

Add to the mix a very unexpected car repair. There went workouts, because right now, my only days are Wednesday nights. Sorry, no one could come get me until late, and working out at 8:30 PM when you have to wake at 5:00 AM .... no. It doesn't work that way. And when you have no car, you are at everyone else's mercy.

As I told my physical therapist earlier today, I'm puffed up like a tick at a dog show. Again, one of the little "side benefits" of lymphedema is greater propensity to retain fluids in high heat. Even she noticed my feet and hands are more swollen than usual. And it's not from lack of drinking water or other liquids, that's for sure. The Premphase doesn't help it either. In the wall chart you get that doubles as a biochemistry lesson, a/k/a "here's what this stuff does to you and the 400 million ways it can kill you if you have...." a couple of the side affects are "weight gain" and "increased fluid retention." I look like a frickin' sausage, so ya think?

Seven pounds up. Yeah. That's what my scale said this morning. Tomorrow's official weigh-in is going to be beyond ugly. But I'm going to own every bit of it. What else can I do? I made bad choices in bad situations, instead of doing the best I could. But no more.

It stops now. This is not the way I want to do things, I am NOT going back to what used to be. I'm smarter than that, I'm better than that, and I am not going to fail. I am done with whatever self-pity party my body and brain have decided to throw for themselves. For the mouth of the Nettie hath spoken it (Oooh, memories of Christmas music past.... begone!)

And the new beginning happened tonight. I worked late and had an errand, but I was determined to get SOME exercise in. And I did.... I did a short routine, mostly cardio, but it was something. Not perfect, but something was better than nothing! And I am taking a tour next week of a fitness place closer to work, even if it's just for a short term solution while the rehearsal schedule is in place.

And to you, bad choices, I am O.V.E.R. (Onward, Victorious, Ever-Rising) and D.O.N.E. (Diva Overcoming Negative Energies). No more wallowing, no more excuses, onto better (and smaller) things...... and true health.