Friday, August 05, 2011

BOOM

That BOOM you heard around 6:00 AM Eastern time was me stepping on the scale this morning. Holy Mary, Mother of God.

Another week of the crazies. We had a death in our family (my uncle, dad's brother-in-law). If you have never seen a Southern funeral food spread, then you just have no idea. Meat-n-cheese trays, potato salads and coleslaws, fried chicken, every casserole with cream-of-something soup in it, wonderfully lovingly homemade desserts. Seriously, you just cannot believe it. Churches, neighbors, other family members: they all come to call, they come to grieve with you and they come bearing food. And usually there's nothing there that can be remotely friendly.

Add to the mix a very unexpected car repair. There went workouts, because right now, my only days are Wednesday nights. Sorry, no one could come get me until late, and working out at 8:30 PM when you have to wake at 5:00 AM .... no. It doesn't work that way. And when you have no car, you are at everyone else's mercy.

As I told my physical therapist earlier today, I'm puffed up like a tick at a dog show. Again, one of the little "side benefits" of lymphedema is greater propensity to retain fluids in high heat. Even she noticed my feet and hands are more swollen than usual. And it's not from lack of drinking water or other liquids, that's for sure. The Premphase doesn't help it either. In the wall chart you get that doubles as a biochemistry lesson, a/k/a "here's what this stuff does to you and the 400 million ways it can kill you if you have...." a couple of the side affects are "weight gain" and "increased fluid retention." I look like a frickin' sausage, so ya think?

Seven pounds up. Yeah. That's what my scale said this morning. Tomorrow's official weigh-in is going to be beyond ugly. But I'm going to own every bit of it. What else can I do? I made bad choices in bad situations, instead of doing the best I could. But no more.

It stops now. This is not the way I want to do things, I am NOT going back to what used to be. I'm smarter than that, I'm better than that, and I am not going to fail. I am done with whatever self-pity party my body and brain have decided to throw for themselves. For the mouth of the Nettie hath spoken it (Oooh, memories of Christmas music past.... begone!)

And the new beginning happened tonight. I worked late and had an errand, but I was determined to get SOME exercise in. And I did.... I did a short routine, mostly cardio, but it was something. Not perfect, but something was better than nothing! And I am taking a tour next week of a fitness place closer to work, even if it's just for a short term solution while the rehearsal schedule is in place.

And to you, bad choices, I am O.V.E.R. (Onward, Victorious, Ever-Rising) and D.O.N.E. (Diva Overcoming Negative Energies). No more wallowing, no more excuses, onto better (and smaller) things...... and true health.

1 comment:

Iris said...

Bravo, Nettie! Your attitude of recovery is an inspiration -- as usual.

You go Gurl -- one day at a time.

Sincerely, "O'Iris"