Friday, October 27, 2006

I never liked roller coasters as a kid....

and I especially hate them when I'm trying to lose weight..... gained 1.2 (again). But I also consider that (as my leader said), "Life happens!"

Three birthday parties/dinners, all with free desserts. I tasted little bits of them, but did not eat the whole thing. That was an important change -- a year ago, I would definitely have eaten the whole piece of streusel! And losing 5.8 last week probably made my body put on the brakes.

So how am I going to get through this? I think my "consistency instead of intensity" for exercise has got to be tweaked. I've been working on the consistency, making sure my heart rate is within target, etc. I think I'll go back to what was working for me. And, I can also shake it up so I'm not always just on the treadmill. I like the bike, but I can only go about 15 minutes at a time. So I am thinking that 15 minutes for a "warm-up" then lifting weights, and then another 15 for additional cardio.

And of course, sticking to plan. No more unplanned, guesstimated portions and points. That wasn't good this week. I should have just said no.

Thus endeth the (self-)flogging. I am reminding myself that I've lost 56 pounds. That's more than I really ever expected to lose in 24 weeks!!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I gotta go visit my friends in Georgia more often...

Because when I do, I lose over 5 pounds!!! This week, it was 5.8 for a total of 57 pounds even (in 23 weeks). That's just short of 2.5 pounds per week.

I am thrilled by the changes in me -- not only the healthy eating habits; not just the exercise (and getting up early to do that!), but the obvious changes too: the smaller sizes (slowly getting smaller, but getting there) and the changes in my appearance.

And I am more confident as well. My self-confidence was in the can a few years back, and over the years, I have worked hard to build it back up. The weight loss is like adding a rocket booster to an overhauled sportscar. What was once a rusted-out tin can is now looking better and better each day. Amazing what a little maintenance does.

To everyone who is sharing this journey with me, I love you and am so grateful for your support and love and concern and your cheerleading. Your support is invaluable!

Monday, October 16, 2006

A minor setback but not a defeat!

Apologies first for not updating until now. I went out of town Friday and just returned.

I had a minor setback last week. I gained 1.2 pounds. But in my defense, my schedule was all thrown crazy -- went in very early (as in 5 AM), and that threw my normal routine all to heck. Meals? Forget it -- my "lunch" break was at 9:00 AM instead of 1:00 PM. Exercise? Only once during the week -- not my usual 3 times. And silly me, I actually ate a full meal before stepping on the scales. Normally, I go straight from work without eating and grab some grub on the way home. Doofus thing to do!

BUT, this is not a defeat. I am determined to lose the weight I regained this week, and to move forward. Oooh Rah!!!

Sunday, October 08, 2006

How sweet it is!

So yesterday, I went shopping with the gift my coworkers gave me and added a little of my own to it. I got enough new pants to last me through the winter -- just in time to buy new ones for spring (at least that's the plan), a suit jacket for one of the pants, a few shirts, and a lot more confidence.

Because I have lost two pants sizes. Okay, really probably closer to 1-3/4. The pants are a little snug, but the size in between was way too loose -- waist, length, everywhere. So a little snug won't be bad, and over the winter, I'll be losing more weight anyway.

What a boost! I had no idea that it was that good. And of course, my shirts are a size smaller than I used to wear too. That part is just as sweet!

This could make me enjoy clothes shopping..... :)

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Patience, grasshopper.....

Today, I had another fitness meeting with my trainer for Wellness Works (through the Y). She and I discussed where I'd come from, where I am going, and what I want to do.

One of the things we discussed was consistency versus intensity. Most people do not realize this about me, because I mask it very well. I am a very intense person. My amps go all the way to 11. Part of that comes from being a large person all my life and always feeling that I had to do things better, faster, more fantastically, because I had more to prove to people: that fatties aren't lazy, etc. So while I look all meek-n-mild and sweetness-n-light on the surface, trust me: the intensity and drive lurk underneath and fuel everything.

So for the last few weeks, I've been doing a treadmill pace of roughly 22 minutes/mile (around 2.8 MPH) -- NOT what I want. I would love an average pace of 17:30 (around 3.5ish). At the same time, I am very cognizant of what my target heart rates are, and am trying to stay within a certain range (between 142-152 bpm). So I've done inclines, sped-up intervals, the whole shebang. Oddly enough, sounding too much like the mother in D.H. Lawrence's The Rocking-Horse Winner: "There must be more results -- there must be more results."

And there is Melissa, telling me that she wants me to slow it down in order to be more consistent. To exercise at a level of 5-7 instead of 8 or 9. WHAT? ME? You must be kidding. And there is Debbie, my WW leader, reminding me that 2 pounds a week should be the most I want to lose in a week.

And here I am, thinking, "Slow it down? Why would I want to? No! I like my pace, I like the results...."

And then there is the internal Shaolin master saying, "Patience, grasshopper."

(insert big heaving sigh here)

Can I learn to slow things down? To enjoy things as they come instead of pushing myself too hard, and possibly setting myself up for failure? To be more focused on what I'm doing and how I'm doing it, instead of worrying about how it's going to turn out?

Thursday, October 05, 2006

More reasons to celebrate!

I'm down another 1.4 pounds this week for a total of 52.4 pounds. I am definitely going to celebrate, because every loss is a step closer to my goal -- and because I wasn't sure if I'd have a loss this week. I figured that with the huge loss from last week, I'd probably bounce back with a gain. And I'm within guidelines, so that's a bonus too.


And I have got to share this story with you -- if you haven't heard it already. Monday morning about 9:30, I watched as my coworkers gathered around my desk. I had no idea what was going on....... Finally, one of them spoke up and said, "We are so proud of you, and all the weight loss you've accomplished so far, that we wanted to get you a little something." Inside was $50 in cash -- a dollar per pound so far. And the instructions to buy myself something new that would fit just beautifully -- not to spend on groceries, or on gas, or anything else but something new to wear.

I nearly cried. I was completely overwhelmed by their support and their generosity! We have joked for a while about my "MC Hammer" pants -- baggy all over and u-g-l-y, I truly have no alibi.... And truth be told, I do need to go shopping for something new. Everything I own -- okay, just about everything -- is too big somewhere, either the waist, the knees, the thighs, the arms, the whatever.

I was totally floored. Just completely floored, and incredibly thankful!!!! And this weekend, I am definitely shopping for at least one new pair of pants if nothing else! They're tired of seeing my safety pins -- and quite frankly, so am I! I enjoy needing the safety pins, but even I realize how bad my stuff looks.

So to Beth, Cindy, Elena, Heather, Kelly and Pam, you will always have my heartfelt gratitude for all the love and support!!!!!!! Y'all are terrific!!!