Weighty Matters

Okay, I FINALLY got my test results back on Tuesday: everything is in normal ranges. For two of the tests, my scores were pretty much in the dead center. For the last, it was toward the lower end of normal but not so much so that it was cause for concern. I have answers, but I still have more questions. I was up at this week's weigh-in ... it wasn't entirely unexpected but really, can one blowout meal cause that much of a gain? No. I still think there is SOMETHING going on, and while it's not my thyroid, I don't know what it could be. But I have bigger fish to fry right now: my mother's health. She has been feeling puny (that's a Southern phrase) for about 2 weeks. She went to the doctor last week because she could not kick a feeling of nausea. It would just come in waves but never so strong as to actually make her upchuck. Just that awful feeling of "I'm gonna be sick, I'm gonna be sick, no wait, yes, no...." So the doctor gave her some Phener...

I have been able to rearrange my schedule in order to attend the 5:30 meeting on Thursdays. It's a different group, but they seemed very nice so far. And I discovered that one of the 5:30 members (who had been attending the 7:00 a while back) is moving to Europe on a 3-year transfer assignment. WOW! Lots of changes in store for her - and smart girl, she has already found where WW meets in the area to which she's moving! You go!!!! Sara, wishing you all the best, and please stay in touch! In fantastic news, my weight was down. Not by much -- 0.4 pounds -- but I will take every single ounce or fraction thereof I can get. It's nearly 2 sticks of butter gone! I made a real effort this past week to listen to my body's hunger signals instead of those little signals from my head..... the ones that say, "What a day! You've earned a little wiggle room...." or "Man, this workout is something else; you can eat a little more today." Well, no, not really - no...

I weighed in at work Saturday morning, and I’m more or less holding steady. Part of me is happy about that, since I had some binge-y moments this week. In reflection on those moments, I know how it happened. On Tuesdays, I eat dinner at work (4:30 PM) in order to make my schedule work for a committee meeting each week. I don’t like this, since I usually finish lunch around 12:30. 4:30 is a little too soon for a full meal. By 10:00, I’m starving and shoveling in whatever's not nailed down (and that’s even with snacks at the meeting). So now, I’ve decided that I will simply have to stop and pick up something on the way to the meeting and eat it then. I hate the idea of spending money instead of taking something from home, but you do what you have to. And this week, I tended to listen to my "head hunger" instead of my "body hunger." I wasn't really caring whether or not I was physically hungry, but wanting to satisfy my emotional hunger instead. I was letting m...

I'm not sure I have a lot of words of wisdom this week. I'm not feeling very wise. I'm not discouraged, but I am .... well, I'm not sure there's a good descriptor for it. Baffled. Angry. Inquisitive. Perplexed. Not-Quite-But-Awful-Close-to-Helpless. Determined. (For what it's worth, the one on the list that kills me is the "helpless" phrase.... don't even get me started on my absolute dread/dislike of "helpless"!! I don't believe we're ever without help, whether it's from others or divine assistance. Help is always there. But it's the only way I can really describe the feeling.) I am still up, weight-wise. This week, I used 25 of my 35 weekly extra points. I use those extra very infrequently, but I did this week. Was it too many? Not enough? I know that maintenance is ongoing and one of those constant experiments to see what may work and what may not. But I hardly think that using 5/7ths of those points was enough to send...

I'm someone who loves my sleep. I mean, I love sleep like a fat kid loves chocolate cake. Like the quote from Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood: "She used to say she could taste sleep and that it was as delicious as a BLT on fresh French bread." Even in elementary school, I had a late bedtime (compared to so many other kids) but my mother must have found it pure hell to try to drag me out of bed in the mornings. She asked, cajoled, threatened, demanded, and basically did whatever it took ...... my sleep needs simply didn't coincide with the demands of real life. Here I am 30+ years later, and nothing's changed. I cannot fall asleep before 11:00 but in order to accomplish everything I have to, I have to be up at 5:30 on a normal morning, 5:00 if I have to be at work at 8:00. No, I'm not kidding. Why 2 hours to get ready? You eat breakfast, unravel the leg bandages, roll them back up, hit the shower, dry off, put back on a pair of support hose, fix lunch (a...

After 4 years, it is the end of an era. I am losing my 7:00 meeting on Thursday nights. Several back-to-back meetings at various locations and centers are being consolidated, and this happens to be one of them. But oh my..... I've built so much of my schedule and my world around Thursday evenings being MY time. Right now, unless I can change my schedule to attend the 5:30 meeting, my only option is Sunday afternoons.... and really, do I want to weigh in after Sunday dinner? :D So I will do what I can to get to Thursdays at 5:30. To everyone who has been part of my life for those 7:00 meetings, I sure hope to see you soon. You have meant the world to me! **** Week 2 of the "Dave Workout, Plan One" ..... we upped the weight to a 15-pound dumbbell, and added yet another lifting/stretch thing to it. Oh. Em. Gee. I feel it this week in my abs and my shoulders/arms. It's still a good hurt. Strangely enough, I'm enjoying this. They have a word for that: masochism. :D

My personal trainer, that is. I started a new fitness routine this week. Medicine balls and twists. Dumbbells used as kettlebells. Learning to juggle (kinda sorta). Glutes & hams, with calf raises and lowers. Heavier weights than usual. Dave told me Monday night, "You are going to be sore tomorrow." Dave was wrong; I was getting sore 2 hours later!!! But it feels good . It is hard work that feels good to body and soul. Am I perfect, do I remember all the routine yet? No. And trying to do the routine in the mornings is tough because I only have so much time, but I do as much as time will allow, and I am finally at a point where my schedule is evening out. *** Last night, I had the opportunity to share a portion of my story at a WW meeting/open house. I really enjoyed getting to meet everyone, and hearing their stories and questions. If there's anything I want others to hear by sharing my tale, it's that there is hope, there is success, there is great joy in getting...

I'm reading the Geneen Roth book little bit by little bit. It's pretty deep, so I want to savor it and not just give it the speed-read treatment. In fact, tonight over dinner, I read more of it, and got just whammied by what I was reading. About paying attention to your body and to stop the obsessing (and get to what's really eating you instead....) This weekend, I experienced this for myself a little on Saturday night. I had a birthday party for a high school friend, and I didn't worry about the food. I ate what I wanted, to satisfaction, and earlier than my usual dinnertime. Amazingly enough, I didn't eat again until very late (just to have a snack before bed)..... I was very satisfied, to say the least. And I made it a point that I was going to count it against my weekly 35 points. I also worked out a little more this week, because I know I feel lousy when I don't. It is starting to pay off. I am down 1.6 from my official weigh-in, and only 2.8 to go in order...

I'm reading a new book, just in Chapter One right now, but it is quite an interesting premise: Geneen Roth's Women, Food and God -- about how the choices we've made with food (and other things) reflect our deepest core values and our spirituality. I cannot wait to keep reading it..... if I'm not dead asleep Sunday afternoon (after a pretty busy week and weekend), then I will be nose-deep in this book!

It is what it is. Yeah, I'm up. Not quite as much as February (oooh, a whole 6/10ths difference), but it's up. Oh well, weekly weigh-ins, here I come! So what do I do need to do differently to get this fixed and soon? Set a better schedule. The last couple of weeks have been a lot of curveballs and change-ups to my time frames. So that ends. Not only do I need to map out my day and eating plans to accommodate my new evening meetings, but my exercise as well. I've gotten off a good set schedule, and I need to get back. This will be a little easier once choir practice ends, so hopefully in about 2 weeks, I'll have a really good schedule set. Do more cooking. Another thing I haven't had time for, but really need to work on. I have new recipes to try out, and I can't wait!!! Figure out exactly (calorie-wise) what I should be eating each day -- not just the points, but the calories too. Points are a little different because I can use one point on something that...

I went on a much-needed retreat for women last weekend. I did not realize how desperately I needed a break from the everyday world, and just what sort of physical impact it would have on me. Knowing I was going to be busy with that all weekend, on Friday, I did a workout for my legs. This is important for later on...... I got up early Saturday, drove to the retreat, and -- oh my gosh, I can't begin to tell you about all the food that was there, and I proceeded to just enjoy myself with it. We were fed VERY well..... too well; not only were our bodies well-fed but our souls and spirits too. It was a beautiful weekend, with lots of emotion (at least on my part). I'm a pretty emotional person to start, so you know that means I will become a weepy mess pretty quickly. The stress of the last few weeks has honestly left me close to either a big ol' ugly outburst or a huge meltdown. But in the midst of all that emotional garbage, I found wonderful love and support from the women w...

"Not so fast, my friend....." I mentioned previously that I finally found some protein shake stuff at Vitamin Shoppe last weekend, and it was on clearance so, oh why not? I also stopped in at Wally World on Sunday and bought a nice little shaker/mixer thing -- "perfect for vinaigrettes, shakes, etc." (you see where this is heading, don't you?) I took the protein powder with me to work yesterday for a quick pre-workout boost. I even only used half the recommended portion, in part to control calories and also to see how I would like it. I mixed the powder with a cup of Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla almond milk. The verdict: the protein powder is at home again, where it will stay. One, I didn't like the taste. Had I used a whole portion, it might have been better. But also, my "perfect for..." mixer? Not so much. I had to open it a couple of times and stir. Perhaps the powder should have been sifted or something first? It might have been the unswe...

Okay, first....................... Some exciting news to report on the WW scene: a new location for our Clemson & Seneca area meetings!! Join us at the Heritage Point (a/k/a "Bloom") Shopping Center, on Highway 123 between Clemson & Seneca. We're actually right next to the Chinese restaurant in the center. If you live in the area, and you're interested in meetings at this location, just go to www.weightwatchers.com -- type in your zip code and look for the "Heritage Point" location in Seneca. After moving the East Clemson meeting's inventory and paperwork over, we started unpacking the Seneca paperwork and inventory. However, I had to take off before everything was finished -- I had an appointment in Travelers Rest yesterday afternoon. When that was finished, I headed to Vitamin Shoppe, since I knew they were having a sale. And I wanted to look into a few things. I don't know everything there is to know about nutrition, and especially perform...

Okay, I don't get political on this blog or any of my others, for that matter. I was a poli-sci major in college, and I would crawl if I had to in order to vote..... but otherwise, I don't delve too deeply unless it's a campaign season. Campaigning is another beast entirely - I love watching the tactics that politicians will use (read: depths they will sink to) in order to win. BUT..... no matter how you feel about the recent health-care legislation, one of the brightest shining provisions is the one requiring chain restaurants to post the calorie counts (if nothing else). Frankly, I wish they'd make them hand out a complete nutrition guide at the door, with fat, fiber, sodium, sugar, and a few other things listed..... but at least the calorie count is a starting point. And I love restaurants that WILLINGLY provide that information now. Regular readers know that I am totally kookoo for Jason's Deli, just because of the great information they provide and are willing ...

Quatro-Cero reporting in again..... Wednesday night, I did a nice workout at the gym. I had a few extra minutes, so I proceeded to do a new type of squat (okay, new to me) .... you know, just to get some in. With this move, you hold a dumbbell by one end and do a squat holding the weight. Easy enough, right? POP. That was the sound my left hip area made; at least I think it was just the hip bone popping (hard to hear when the Crue is playing in your headset). And something was definitely not feeling good in the left groin. Yeah, I think I have strained it. I put an ice pack on it when I went to bed that night, and I woke up Thursday morning hobbling a bit. Getting in and out of my car was an adventure, too. Most mornings I have my purse, my tote, my lunchbag, and some mornings, my gym gear too. Yesterday morning, it was just the purse and lunchkit, and still......... This morning, much better. ***** And I made my first weekly meeting in a long time. Holy mackerel, was it nice to get ba...

To all of you who read my blog pretty regularly, I need to say I'm sorry. I realize that my last post revealed a side of me that I don't like. I don't like obsessing over my weight, and normally I don't. I became really freaked out because of the huge gain over the vacation weekend, and that's the price I chose to pay. I also got a little weird since I cannot figure out why my body seems to be revolting against my chosen goal weight. My doctor gave that figure based on his advice and counsel and based on his treatment of me over the years. And for some unknown reason, my body seems to be saying, "Mmmmmm -- let me think. No. I like about 3 pounds higher." My body might but my mind and my will do not. I do want to say that under normal circumstances, I do not obsess that much. And I am truly, truly sorry that I even gave the impression or hinted that I do this every single time, every day, or many times a day........ Believe me, I do not; this situation was ...

Portrait of my morning, Friday, April 2: 5:45 AM: My bathroom. Relieve myself, then open the closet to retrieve the scale. I step on...... xx3.8 ..... oh fudge!!!! My goal is xx0.0. Well piffle. There goes my idea to go in early and stop by the WW Center to weigh in: why bother? I'm still up above my allowable limit. So I ate the breakfast I had planned to take in. 6:20 AM: Ate breakfast, back in the bathroom to shower up. Aw, heck. Why not? Let's just see...... xx2.8 -- WHAT? I ate. I should be UP, not down a pound. I'm still above where I need to be and so forget going in early, but..... WHAT? 6:30 AM: Out of the shower. What the heck -- let's take another look: xx3.8 .... wait just a sec. In 10 minutes, all I did was shower. How do you gain a pound SHOWERING? Seriously??? Screw it. I'll just weigh in tomorrow at the meeting I work. In my faith, Good Friday is a day of fast/abstinence. I have some difficulty in balancing the observations that my church asks of me ...

It's been a while since I've posted what's playing on my MP3 these days. So rather than this HUGE list here, I made a PDF file of it for everyone to see. Of course, it has my comments/explanations as to why some songs are on there. Not that I really ever need to explain, but it helps me analyze why some are there..... and I took out about 10 or 12 as I was doing that process. My Zen Playlist Please enjoy, comment, etc. Would love to hear your thoughts!

My weight is still up a bit, and I've followed things fairly well this week, except for one "blowout meal" on Sunday. And the very next meal, I got back on track, so no guilt. I've been drinking more water, got back to the gym (and plan another visit tomorrow morning), and have even been attempting to get more sleep (can't say I've completely succeeded.....). Yet, the weight is staying a bit higher (and for longer) than I would like. Last week, my primary care doc wondered about my thyroid - if it might be underactive. I also spoke to my Gyn this week, since he had originally checked that last year, and he thought that it might not be an issue but couldn't hurt to keep an eye on. And then, another possible explanation -- not an excuse, but a possible "Eureka?" moment -- popped up. Earlier this week, I had one of my "maintenance prescriptions" refilled (it's hormone therapy). The pharmacy called and said, "We're out of this ...

in the good way! This week has been a challenge..... when I stepped on the scale last Tuesday, after all the damage was done, I was up around 13 pounds. No. There is no way you can do THAT much damage in that short a time frame. But you know, I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and started again. I drank my water, ate far better and stayed within points. Got back to the gym (for just one day so far), but did other exercise as well throughout the week. And you know something........ about 8 has come off so far. So I have another 10 days or so, and I will get the other 5 off. I'm getting back to the gym tomorrow morning (because I'm putting my happy butt to bed WAY earlier tonight). I'm continuing to eat and track, and to prepare healthy foods to take to work this week. Sometimes when you're either stuck or gaining, one of the best things you can do is pretend that it's Week 1; to have that same level of enthusiasm, that same level of vigilance, and the same level ...