Skip to main content

Struggling again....

I went on a much-needed retreat for women last weekend. I did not realize how desperately I needed a break from the everyday world, and just what sort of physical impact it would have on me. Knowing I was going to be busy with that all weekend, on Friday, I did a workout for my legs. This is important for later on......

I got up early Saturday, drove to the retreat, and -- oh my gosh, I can't begin to tell you about all the food that was there, and I proceeded to just enjoy myself with it. We were fed VERY well..... too well; not only were our bodies well-fed but our souls and spirits too. It was a beautiful weekend, with lots of emotion (at least on my part). I'm a pretty emotional person to start, so you know that means I will become a weepy mess pretty quickly. The stress of the last few weeks has honestly left me close to either a big ol' ugly outburst or a huge meltdown. But in the midst of all that emotional garbage, I found wonderful love and support from the women who became my soul-sisters that weekend. By the time we reached a very beautiful, moving moment of the retreat that evening, I was most definitely one hot mess. I went to a quiet spot in the church and wept, sobbed, openly, loudly, and did not care one bit who heard, who followed me in there, or what she might have thought. Amazing how God's love reaches out to you whether you're in the church or sitting in a bathroom stall......

What does this have to do with weight, physical fitness, etc.? Keep reading.

So I went to bed that night on the air mattress I'd brought with me. It wasn't the most comfortable sleep but it wasn't the same as a sleeping bag on the floor. When I awoke Sunday morning, my arms from shoulders to wrists felt like I had gone ten rounds with Tyson in my sleep. I mean, I was sore to the touch. Just as I was wondering what happened, one of the team members - a nurse-practitioner - came in and I asked her. She nodded and said, "Yep. It can be a response to the stress release that you've just had." On Monday night at the gym, I asked a personal trainer the same thing -- same answer: "Oh yeah! You get rid of all that built-up stress, and those free radicals and toxins go flush through your body. Heck yeah, you'll be sore."

Which has made me ponder this week just how stress plays into weight loss/gain. In the last few years, much has been made of cortisol, the "stress hormone" ..... and all the products that are supposed to help block, eliminate, etc. its effects. Uh, I don't think the products work, but I am wondering about the hormone itself. I came back from retreat and was feeling really good and relaxed and happy ...... and work hit me full force this week, and I have been pretty well just as stressed as ever this week. Add a car breakdown and a couple of other events..... well, that was tons of fun. And how have I responded? Not working out as I should. Bad food choices .... not so much in what I ate, but 10:00 at night has been my bugaboo.

But you know, today began the do-over. I have treated today like Day 1. Good choices, and tomorrow I plan to wake early and go workout. I enjoy the evening workouts, but there's something head-clearing and energizing about the early workouts. So guess what..... tomorrow. Monday morning (and then again Tuesday night). Now that I have my vehicle back, I'm not at the mercy of others!

So let's see how things go this week. I may not hit my goal weight for this month's weigh-in, but I'm going to try my very best!!! I'll keep you posted!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

At the risk of sounding like a Spanish soccer announcer,

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!! It took 3 years and 3 weeks, but I am finally 44% of the woman I was on May 11, 2006. When I started the journey, this day was not even in sight. All I could honestly think about was how to take those first steps to get through the first day and the first week. I had no idea how I was supposed to do 5 minutes a day of activity, when it took all I could do to put one foot in front of the other. But if nothing else, once I make up my mind to do something.......... Here it is, June 4, 2009. I am 228 pounds lighter and a quadrillion times better. I made it through that first day, that first week just fine. I did the 5 minutes -- okay, really 10 minutes, all huffing and puffing and barely able to walk out two blocks and back. Then 20, then 30, and joined the Y, and ..... got the dog and had to walk him. Then said, "I can do a 5K." And then watched my race time improve each time I tried. In losing 228 pounds, I have gained so much. I wasn't e

It's almost here......

Not Christmas. Okay, yes, it is almost here, but that's not exactly what this is about. I went to weigh in today at the noon meeting, since our center will be closed after that meeting until Friday. I stepped on the scale, and I am four pounds down from last week. FOUR. Okay, big whoop, right? Well, yeah. I haven't had a four-pound loss in forever, so YES, it is a big deal. But this means I have ten pounds to go to hit goal. Ten. Ten. Ten. Ten. I have to let it sink in. I never in my wildest imagination pictured myself at this point when I started out. Seriously, when I started out, I had no idea where it would all lead, or if I would have the courage and determination to continue. The earliest successes led me to believe that yes, I could do this. But I had so much weight to lose that I really couldn't picture the final "Winning Outcome" (wink!). It was only by looking piece by piece, five pounds by five pounds (or ten by ten), that I could do it. Knowing that

Coming Around Again

Okay, accountability time again ....... As a lot of you know, in what feels like a lifetime ago, I lost a whole kindergarten class’s weight and did it fairly quickly (3 years). It was a struggle to maintain but I managed to “only” gain back about 40 of that original 230 I lost. Then foot surgery happened and I was just learning to walk pain-free (forget 5Ks). I put on a few more but still not a lot. When mama died, the bottom dropped out and I’ve been free-falling since. And the Quarantine 14 was part of that too. So it’s past time to get back on track. This time while it’s not just the physical side of things, it’s the mental side of it too. I’ll be honest: my anxiety has gotten worse since Richard died. There have been nights I have been too scared to sleep lying down because my head pipes up, “you know, what if you die lying down?” I’ve been pretty dang determined that if it’s in my power, my daddy will not have to bury both his kids from their own stupidity. So yeah. There ya go. M