Friday, April 30, 2010

Struggling again....

I went on a much-needed retreat for women last weekend. I did not realize how desperately I needed a break from the everyday world, and just what sort of physical impact it would have on me. Knowing I was going to be busy with that all weekend, on Friday, I did a workout for my legs. This is important for later on......

I got up early Saturday, drove to the retreat, and -- oh my gosh, I can't begin to tell you about all the food that was there, and I proceeded to just enjoy myself with it. We were fed VERY well..... too well; not only were our bodies well-fed but our souls and spirits too. It was a beautiful weekend, with lots of emotion (at least on my part). I'm a pretty emotional person to start, so you know that means I will become a weepy mess pretty quickly. The stress of the last few weeks has honestly left me close to either a big ol' ugly outburst or a huge meltdown. But in the midst of all that emotional garbage, I found wonderful love and support from the women who became my soul-sisters that weekend. By the time we reached a very beautiful, moving moment of the retreat that evening, I was most definitely one hot mess. I went to a quiet spot in the church and wept, sobbed, openly, loudly, and did not care one bit who heard, who followed me in there, or what she might have thought. Amazing how God's love reaches out to you whether you're in the church or sitting in a bathroom stall......

What does this have to do with weight, physical fitness, etc.? Keep reading.

So I went to bed that night on the air mattress I'd brought with me. It wasn't the most comfortable sleep but it wasn't the same as a sleeping bag on the floor. When I awoke Sunday morning, my arms from shoulders to wrists felt like I had gone ten rounds with Tyson in my sleep. I mean, I was sore to the touch. Just as I was wondering what happened, one of the team members - a nurse-practitioner - came in and I asked her. She nodded and said, "Yep. It can be a response to the stress release that you've just had." On Monday night at the gym, I asked a personal trainer the same thing -- same answer: "Oh yeah! You get rid of all that built-up stress, and those free radicals and toxins go flush through your body. Heck yeah, you'll be sore."

Which has made me ponder this week just how stress plays into weight loss/gain. In the last few years, much has been made of cortisol, the "stress hormone" ..... and all the products that are supposed to help block, eliminate, etc. its effects. Uh, I don't think the products work, but I am wondering about the hormone itself. I came back from retreat and was feeling really good and relaxed and happy ...... and work hit me full force this week, and I have been pretty well just as stressed as ever this week. Add a car breakdown and a couple of other events..... well, that was tons of fun. And how have I responded? Not working out as I should. Bad food choices .... not so much in what I ate, but 10:00 at night has been my bugaboo.

But you know, today began the do-over. I have treated today like Day 1. Good choices, and tomorrow I plan to wake early and go workout. I enjoy the evening workouts, but there's something head-clearing and energizing about the early workouts. So guess what..... tomorrow. Monday morning (and then again Tuesday night). Now that I have my vehicle back, I'm not at the mercy of others!

So let's see how things go this week. I may not hit my goal weight for this month's weigh-in, but I'm going to try my very best!!! I'll keep you posted!

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