BAM!!!

This thought occurred to me just a few moments ago, and I knew that if I didn't put it down SOMEWHERE, I would forever forget it...... and it actually made me stop what I was doing long enough to really think about it.

Knowing what it takes to succeed is not the same as being aware that you have what it takes to succeed.

If you're reading this, stop. Go back. Re-read the bold print. Slowly. Carefully. (Proofread for me, if you'd like.)

Welcome to my reality prior to May 2006.

I knew what it took to lose weight. I had every diet book (except low-carb stuff) on the shelf. I could read, absorb knowledge, and on occasion, attempt to put those things into practice. I. KNEW. This. Stuff. But I didn't know my stuff. I didn't know that I had in me what it would take to lose the weight...... okay, scratch that. I wasn't aware that I had what it took. It was buried deep enough that I hadn't discovered it yet.

One day, when I opened myself up to the possibility that maybe I didn't have it all, maybe I didn't know it all, and that I needed some guidance and help, then everything seemed to click together. Only then did I realize that I'd had the power all along........ and like Dorothy Gale, I had to learn it on my own. As much as someone could have told me I had the power -- and people did, in their own ways -- it was not until I made that realization for myself that it all began to work. Only I could fire up my own cylinders.

As I work my way back toward my goal, I am finding that yes, I knew these things still ..... but I had lost cognizance that I knew these things, and lost a little faith in my own abilities. I became less aware of all of these things.

And as much as it PAINS me to even imagine using a Celine Dion song here (so I'll claim Jim Steinman), "It's all coming back to me now......"