Skip to main content

Advocating for selfishness

(of sorts)

I realized a couple of weeks ago that I've been working our Saturday morning meetings for over a year now. In that year, we changed locations, merged with another meeting or two, and even changed leaders twice. And in reflecting on our changes, one very sad fact leapt out at me: I can only think of 3-4 people from that original meeting who are still attending our Saturday meetings -- and even then, it's sporadic. I really, really hope that they are simply attending another meeting date or time -- and that they haven't given up on themselves.

I admit: I get a little sad, a little angry, a little bewildered .... I can understand when money or time or another circumstance really is a factor. I have no problem with that. And I know how a seemingly temporary or short-term situation can so easily get us off track. The problem lies in when it becomes a handy excuse for not getting back on track. For example, I know someone who is still using an incident from 2001 as a "reason" why he or she cannot do (name it, just name it). I want to look them dead in the eye and say, "Really? Has this occurred at any time since then? No? Then what's your excuse now?"

I have my own excuses too -- gym bag in the car and ready to go but it's hard for me to make time for exercise. I'm tired. I don't want to work out too late at night. I'll get up early (how often has that worked for me lately?). I have a million of them. And it's that part I don't like about myself that sometimes cause me to take a harder edge. I have to be tough with myself because I know otherwise, I will give myself too much slack. The slippery slope becomes a slip-n-slide.

It truly breaks my heart to think that people give up so easily on the one person they shouldn't: themselves. Why do we not love ourselves? I know in my own cultural niche, there's the whole "put others before yourself" way of life. We have it beat into us that we're horrible persons and not "Real Christians" (TM) if we don't put ourselves dead last. That selfishness is a mortal sin.

Sorry, doesn't work that way. I can't begin to take care of you and your needs if I am unwilling to do it for my own needs as well. If I'm not healthy, how can I possibly model it for you?

So forgive me if I display a few selfish tendencies: taking time to care for myself properly; to attend my meetings, to exercise, to shop for healthy food. To be a little pampered on occasion, even if it's just a $10 manicure. To be able to say "no" to a request when I really don't have enough resources (especially time). To know that to care for myself is as high a calling as caring for others.

And if you were part of a meeting and have fallen away because of some months-old reason that doesn't work anymore, how about coming back? We'd love to see you again!

Comments

Angie A said…
i love this :) I posted on my wall to share. I really think alot of people can benefit from reading this. I love how this applies to all walks of life, any one and everyone. especially this part "I can't begin to take care of you and your needs if I am unwilling to do it for my own needs as well. If I'm not healthy, how can I possibly model it for you?"


So So So True!

Thank you for such a great entry!
Angie/Ed

Popular posts from this blog

At the risk of sounding like a Spanish soccer announcer,

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!! It took 3 years and 3 weeks, but I am finally 44% of the woman I was on May 11, 2006. When I started the journey, this day was not even in sight. All I could honestly think about was how to take those first steps to get through the first day and the first week. I had no idea how I was supposed to do 5 minutes a day of activity, when it took all I could do to put one foot in front of the other. But if nothing else, once I make up my mind to do something.......... Here it is, June 4, 2009. I am 228 pounds lighter and a quadrillion times better. I made it through that first day, that first week just fine. I did the 5 minutes -- okay, really 10 minutes, all huffing and puffing and barely able to walk out two blocks and back. Then 20, then 30, and joined the Y, and ..... got the dog and had to walk him. Then said, "I can do a 5K." And then watched my race time improve each time I tried. In losing 228 pounds, I have gained so much. I wasn't e...

Quick brag

Apologies for the drive-by posting, but I am proud to report that my brother has hit his 10% goal!!! AND did it by 3 whole pounds!!!!! WAY TO GO, BRO!

Motivation and endurance

This week, a loss of 3.8 pounds leaves me with just 2.4 to go ..... 225.6 gone!!! And once again, it remains *personal* to get rid of those 2.4 pounds!!! They will. get. gone. And soon!!! This week's topic is on motivation -- remembering the motivation that got us through the door. Finding the motivation that keeps us going. Thinking of what we need to do to get ourselves to our goals (weight and otherwise). The funny thing is, I was just considering motivation and endurance at lunch today as I was walking in the nice warm(!) Carolina midday sun. My initial motivation hinged on three things: (1) needing to get in better health, and knowing my doc had recommended WW above all else; (2) seeing a horrendous picture of me and thinking, "My God do I really look that bad?"; and (3) realizing that as independent as I am, this was one battle I could not fight alone. Fighting it alone had gotten me into this pickle. I would have to swallow my pride and rely on others for assistanc...