Friday, January 28, 2011

Upon further review....

About halfway through my weight loss journey, I began to be asked a question, which I am still occasionally asked..... the basic gist of it is:

"So how have you changed?"

And for years, my stock response has been that I haven't really changed; that the essential me is the same, only improved; that I'm simply better than I was before.

I've come to discover in the last few weeks that this is not really true. The essential me has changed. The core me is different. All in a good way, of course, but there is a huge paradigm shift in me.

How? Here's an example: ten years ago, if you had asked me to go on a ski weekend, I could not have immediately said yes. Or if I had, I would have been all, "GREAT! I will be happy to be the hostess back at the lodge while y'all are out on the slopes!" Because let's face it, they don't make ski clothes in certain sizes. Would I need heavy-duty skis to support my weight? And if I could do it, would I be needing to yell "GANG WAY!" as I barreled my way downhill? Oh dear, so much to consider, I don't think I can do it.

Just before New Year's, I picked up a little mag called Blue Ridge Outdoors. It was the ski issue, and within 5 minutes of reading, I was mentally mapping out a ski trip this coming December. I picked up the newest issue and there, I read about one of the resorts which also has a cool zipline in the summer. Methinks I will have to take a weekend, drive up and check out this place.... you know, test the zipline and then get information on the skiing.

Ten years ago, I wouldn't have even entertained the idea of skiing, snowtubing, or ziplining..... or anything else along those lines. I hated the outdoors. I hated physical activity because I hated to sweat. I hated the thought of doing much of anything that didn't require me to be inside or to be a homebody.

These days, I can't sit still for very long unless I'm just absolutely physically drained or ill. I prefer to stand, quite honestly. My job requires me to be at my desk most of the time, so in order to keep some semblance of sanity, I fidget. I saw a TV news piece recently about a woman who has a desk that her PC fits on that straddles her treadmill. Yes, she walks at a slow speed all day long while she works. Change "treadmill" to "recumbent bike" and I am totally there; regular-seat bikes and my rear end have never seen eye-to-eye, whether I was heavy or lighter.

Ten years ago, I preferred meals out to cooking myself. Oh, not that I didn't enjoy reading cookbooks or watching cooking shows or making the same old favorites over and over again. And even then, I was a sucker for any kitchen gadget, tool, utensil, cookware, etc. Imagine how it is these days. I love my kitchen; more precisely, I'd love it to be a commercial kitchen, but...... Weekends are my time for cooking: large batches of food to take with me for lunches, Sunday dinner for the family, trying a new recipe because I don't have time otherwise. I love the idea of taking all these ingredients and making something good from them. I also pay more attention to how my food is made. It makes me think more about where my food comes from and what it does to my body. Does it make me choose organic or natural foods? Not always. Too often, it's a buzzword label designed to make me think it may be better for me...... As I'm fond of saying, "Hemlock was all natural too but look where it got Socrates." And really: an organic, all-natural cookie is still junk food, is it not?

But that's my point ---- I'm more mindful. I'm educating myself, and advocating for others. There is a fundamental difference in me. And vive le diference!

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