Friday, January 10, 2014

Getting back in gear....

2014 is starting out a bit like 2013: in a doctor's office. Up a bit at the scale. Only this time I have a few more answers.

I have a sixth sinus infection, just wrapped up the prednisone dosage, still working the antibiotics, have a new nighttime-only antihistamine, and Topamax (also bedtime only) for the headaches. Last night was my first dosage for that.... today was my first day and I can't wait until it actually begins to get into my system and build up. Because even on this lowest dosage, I have been ... groggy? out of it? yeah? most of the day.

But, back to the topic of the blog itself: so I was up 1.4 this week. Can I blame the polar vortex? the prednisone? my own laziness? Oh, wait.... Well yeah, that pretty much sums it up. No one to blame but me. But guess what, it's also up to me to get this off again. So two days in a row at the gym (so far) and plans to work out at home tomorrow after work. Sunday is supposed to be sunny again (hooray!) so Mr. Maddox will get a walk.

The new medications may mean an adjustment to my schedule. Right now, it's 10:30 PM and I'm very very sleepy. When I woke up this morning at 4:30 (having gone to sleep around 10:45), I was pretty slow moving for nearly an hour.... so it may mean that I have to switch my workouts to afternoons. Ideal for energy levels, but not for my "tolerance for large crowds" level, though I will say this past Thursday (yesterday) was very reasonable. I'll give things a couple of weeks to even themselves out and plan accordingly.

But plan I must. Plan meals. Plan exercise. Plan meditation. Plan my life better -- not just the goals but how I want to feel when I achieve them. I've been reading Danielle LaPorte, and one of the things she mentions is that it's not necessarily the goal itself we chase, but the feeling it engenders in us.

I get that..... I get it a lot. When I was in the weight loss process, it took me a long time to realize that the goal wasn't really as important as what I learned along the way and how it made me feel:

Empowered.
Worthy.
Capable.
Passionate.
Alive.

I could have lost five pounds and felt some degree of those things.
But I felt them much more as time went on.
I learned to look at the big picture ("so you're up 0.4, hey you've lost 156!")

These are the things I still want to feel every day as I continue to live this process.

How about you?

No comments: